A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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