I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
