Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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