So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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