I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
