Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
