My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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