i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
