I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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