I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
