you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
