I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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