He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
