1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
