Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
