I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
