Im at strip club and am horny
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
