mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize