Non-Jews are for practice
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
