New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
