i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
