yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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