Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
