I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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