he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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