with your own penis?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
