we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My bed smells like the plague
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
