Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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