I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
