She said her name was "party"
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
