I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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