bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
