I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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