Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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