Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
