it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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