On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
