Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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