Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
