Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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