i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
