Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
