Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Randomize
