She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
