He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
