wakey wakey hands off snakey
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
