make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
