dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I think my vagina is haunted
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You ruined the universe
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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