Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
