I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
