Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
