I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
